The Journey of an Alcohol Addict
"One drink is too much, one drink is never enough".
I was into my early 30s before I acknowledged I was an alcoholic. Lots of people had shouted at me that I was, everyone had left me, I had lost everything, nearly died, was homeless. Alcohol was all I had left. It was my best friend, it was always there for me, it never judged me, helped me to forget everything, and made me happy. Except that it never really did. It was a liar, manipulative, deceitful, abusive, and two faced. Just like I had become.
I made a choice to stop, but it wouldn't let me go. Many times suicide felt like the easier option. I had no one left, who was going to miss me? It took me three attempts to get clean, and it was progressively worse each time. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and after 10 plus years clean it still requires effort, a great deal of self awareness and reflection on a daily basis.
Getting sober and into recovery is the best for yourself but at times you will feel scared, confused, and temptation is around every corner.
Often you will wonder why you are even bothering and you will want to hit the "fuck it" button.
But, something makes you stop, and pause.
This is the time when you reach out, even though you really don't feel like it.
For me what made it bearable was TACT and the people there (past and present). They were the only ones who ever 'got me', who understand where I was coming from and listened to me.
You always have a choice with what you want to do with your life, no one can tell you what to do, or not to do.
Being an alcoholic is the same as being in recovery - it is a lifelong commitment.
